A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What denomination?" Asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Protestant and 50 Catholic ones."
A little boy, excited about his part in the Christmas play at school, came home and shouted, "I got a part in the Christmas play! I got a part in the Christmas play!"
"What part did you get?" asked his mother excitedly.
"I'm one of the three wise guys!"
Little Johnny was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying week in kindergarten. His grand-mother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful.
His grandmother remarked..."doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?"
Johnny said, "Yes, God did it and he did it left handed."
This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him "What makes you say God did this with his left hand?"
"Well," said Johnny, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's right hand!"